莫名的空虚

                         即使在忙也会有空虚的时候，尤其是在忙完一场很忙很忙的“事业”！

                         还记得以前，我会问：“为什么这些人都那么地‘落力’的去做一些对自己毫无利益的事情。干嘛不把时间花在帮忙自己建立自己的财富，让自己更接近经济自由。” 其实，办活动肉眼看起来其实对我们一点好处也没有，除了忙还是忙！其实并非如此！在哪过程中，它地的确确地让我们变得更成熟的处理问题！我是一个不求结果，但享受过程的人，我只求在哪过程中我学到，哪怕是一点点而已！我已经很满足！

                         今天自我反省后，我发现我还是没有那么好！我还是没那么的会善用我的时间！我还是不能一心三用，四用。所以，我需要在加油！人们常说：“把别人当这是你的一面镜子”。不是看他有的缺点你有吗？而是看他有的优点，你有吗？这才是最重要的！让自己变得更好不是‘好胜’而是让自己将来的路比较好走！也许，我不是最棒的，但我还是有我的特色！《peace》

                         这几个星期是关键时期，无论是在功课还是活动，一连串的活动以后还是一连串的活动！从学期一开始到现在，没有一个周末是可以轻轻松松的，无所事事的偷懒！这也让我觉得时间过得特别快， 而我还没把每一样事情做到最好！好想回家看看爸爸和妈妈 <3 br="br">

Heritage Dinner

   Heritage Dinner was a side event organized by PELTAC 2013 supreme council. I had been  elected as the informal emcee for the dinner. It was my first time as an emcee in such a great dinner of around 100ppl in a Banquet Hall. I was nervous of course. As usual i won't allow myself to eat in case of any unnecessary stomach upset or excuses. 2 days before, i have kind of insomnia to think about how are we going to make the night special to everyone in the dinner! How? I have ideas but how to relate it is the problem. The night before the dinner only have the mood to run out the whole script with something special. I used skyfall to pack the whole things! we are the 007 agents!
   On the start of the emcee, i panic in the first place. I forget my speech. That moment is like shit! shit! shit! But, instantly just talk watever. I'm so guilty by that time that i think i'm going to ruin the whole thing! however, still ok! The whole night is cheerful, especially the lucky draw time. :D
   After the dinner, we received lots of compliment that we done a great job! the satisfaction i gained was like cannot be described with words! The feeling was really amazing, feel like i won the challenge again!
   Thanks for jewel give me this precious chance to challenge myself! :)

AIESEC LC UTM LLDS '12

I'm an AIESECer since my 2nd year, 2nd semester of my university life. During that time, i'm an OGXer. However, i'm just an AIESECer that fooling around without a clear direction and also goal. I can say that i didn't learn anything from my OGX experience. This make me feel that actually AIESEC is out of my expectation in term of efficiency and also learning. I really cannot get what i want in AIESEC. 

Somehow, i insist to stay in AIESEC to give myself another try. This year, i give myself a try to attend the LLDS. I was an OC of LLDS this year. Although we have a lot if conflict in inside the OC team but we still manage to finish LLDS nicely. This was a very nice experience for myself. From the Oc experience, i Learnt that the AEE (After Event Evaluation) which i normally known as Post Mortem. It is effective as we used keep, throw add method and also 360 degree feedback to everyone to let them know that actually what is our weaknesses and also strength. from there, we can improve ourselves.

From the 3 days conference, i know myself better. i have done alot of self reflection during the 3 days. I realized that for me to become an awesome leader i still have much things to learn especially enrich my knowledge by read more. 

For the first day, i actually realized that most of the things i have learn but i never apply in my life. sobs... the memorable one is the personality test which let me know more abt myself. Thanks to Jack for his sharing. As for the team task(teamwork), i realized that i cannot work in the team. i'm more focus on myself which means i did not feel like contribute once i feel i cannot fit in. Besides, i also i lack of ideas i didn't read much to improve myself. other than thus, i think a proper self evaluation is needed for me to improve myself. Last but not least, i have laziness and the sense of scared inside me that stop me from forward. 

For the second day,  The LC simulation let me knew more abt AIESEC operation. How they work as a successful Non-Profit Organization. From here, i realized that i am a typical YELLOW. I didn't plan well before i go for one thing and wasted alot of resources. However, due to strong of sense of responsibility i will will never give up until i reach what  want to reach. But i know that what causes the non organized in doing things is that i'm over confidence in myself. I thought i knew it but i actually i don't no. This was the most memorable for the day. Other than this, i learn how to give feedback and also receive feedback without any hard feeling. The Sandwich method, ask tell ask method and also 360 degree feedback (thanks to Sharon). This actually help me and others to improve. 

For the Third day, It's more relax. Shen Chieh let me know that the sense of urgency help to unleash our potential which means that A CRISIS causing us to CHANGE but in fact we need to change before the crisis take place. The touchest part for the whole day is actually Joanne's sharing about her journey in AIESEC, how AIESEC make a change to her and her determination in AIESEC.

From here, i realized that i need a BIG CHANGE!

AWESOME!!

赤子之心

人越长大，所经历的事越来越多，就对人生自然的就会有另一套的想法。不过这一套的想法离赤子之心越来越远，难道这就是所谓的长大吗？难道长大了就不能保留一颗赤子之心吗？

在大学里，已经足够让你体会所谓的“人性”， 我们往往被利益蒙蔽着我们的心，让我们自私自利起来。一副理所当然地用欺骗的行为去骗取别人的同情心，时间。对我而言，这种人更是可怕。比那种骗取人家钱财的更为卑鄙！为什么就不能将心比心，己所不欲，勿施于人呢？为什么就不能分享呢？为什么就只想到要独占鳌头呢？你觉得呢？在他们的眼里，他们不是欺骗，不是利用，那不是更可怕吗？

今天的心情糟透了！
因为让我看清了一个人！一个边面工作的十足的人，背地里又有另外的故事，真的很可怕！可以说很“惊心动魄”。很心疼那些我在乎的家人似的朋友，这种背地里有另一套想法的，欺骗与利用他人。更没有想过当事人的处境，整个脑海里只有自己，自私自利！想起这一点又是很气，又是很心疼他们。这世界上可以少一点这一类的人物吗？

生气真的很辛苦！让我觉得身体很沉重。很讨厌这种感觉，但我真的转不过那个念头！还是很气很气！

长大

在人生当中，我不断地感觉到我不知不觉地长大了，在磨炼当中长大！
学习如何变得更沉稳，更有领袖的感觉！
这学期里，我领悟到一个人真的要有一个愿意学习的心态，一颗积极求进的心态！

在繁忙的生活中，我不停的观察我身边的人，大家都是为了自己的目标前进，做一番的努力。
虽然说我也有自己的目标，不过老师说我没有概念怎样去完成着一个目标。
在大学里，我最最想做的事就是跟我身边的朋友学习，学习他们的好，改掉自己的不好，让自己变得更进步。
简单来说，改毛病，去脾气！

毛病还是很多，还是不断地去探索。
不过至少有一样我改了，我懂得去欣赏别人的好，别人的美。

这就是成长~~

《逃避》

面对或逃避，我会选择拖延。
这就是我所谓的“选择性恐惧症”。
恐惧于二选一的决定，恐惧选择错了，那怎么办？

<一瓶水的感动>

好舍不得，好不情愿的，我离开了我最爱的家人！
望着一片星空，我的泪也静悄悄的留下。
虽然离开家里的日子也不少，但我的内心还是想当初一样的不舍。
我不是长不大，
而是，我不愿意离开那个我爱的家。

很多时候，我在想 《家》 到底是一个让我逃避的地方吗？
是的。
在这里，我有的是安全感。
我根本不需要武装我自己，我可以表现我一直以来最想表现的慵懒。
在家里，我有的是为所欲为。
我根本不用去顾虑家人对我的爱有没有少一些，
更过分的是我的脾气，一种在别人身上根本不会发生的臭脾气。

但，就因为他们唯我独尊
让我为所欲为，让我撒娇，让我发脾气。
因为爱，一句又一句的提醒我要离开家了，让我恼火。
我就是不肯接受我又要和家人分开的事实，离开那给我安全感的家。
我知道，他们是担心，担心我丢三落四，忘东忘西的。
体验得最深的是我的家人是我的最爱。

孤独一人走了。
回头一转，他们都走了。我的泪流了下来。
喉咙很痛，忘了带水，算了，睡吧。
一醒一睡地到了大学牢门。
我只记得我爸爸的一句话 《努力一点，女儿》。
原来我爸要的不是荣华富贵，他只要我努力一点，用我的知识去创造财富。
我不会让你失望的。

到了大学，到了那熟悉的宿舍，开了那一扇熟悉的门，看到那熟悉的一切，这告诉我“你回来了！”
我会坚持，我必须坚持，努力！
整理，整理完毕后，坐在电脑面前，渴了
心想我应该带水回来，然而我因发脾气而忘了。
不过，在环保袋里，我看到了一瓶水，一瓶妈妈为我准备的水。
我的泪又悄然流下。
一瓶让我感动的水。
谢谢你，妈妈！

Do u ever think what is going to happen after 10 years?
How you manage yourself after 10 years?
What you actually can provide your family? or you just manage to provide yourself?
what is the lifestyle you are going to live?
many people think that i should manage now, future will be planned when it is arrived.

WRONG! WRONG! WRONG!

You have to do something now not wait until the time is there.
you can't predict what it's like after you graduate from the higher education.
what can actually secure yourself is control your source of income.
don't ever let anyone else to control it! you are the one who suppose to control it.

how to control? start something on your own. your own BUSINESS SYSTEM.